I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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