You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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