he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
