his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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