it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
