I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
