do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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