Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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