I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Can I color on your dick again?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
