these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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