Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
