is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
