I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize