Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
