I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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