Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
