when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize