Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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