Its about making memories worth repressing
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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