Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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