Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I need a beard to bite.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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