JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
