ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
