I hate all girls vehemently.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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