where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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