I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
