an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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