you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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