even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize