i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
