I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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