Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
