enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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