Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
