Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
