Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
