chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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