I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
