I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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