Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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