Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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