When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
