i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
