so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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