I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
