Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The best revenge is premature balding
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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