hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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