just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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