2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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