u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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