with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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