We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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