he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I love you.
Bad choice
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
