he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize