Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
