I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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