Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
