U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just want nice things and good sex
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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