every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
