Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
