i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
