Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
