I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
