Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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