I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
