I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
