Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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