college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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