yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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