fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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