I just cut my nipple shaving
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm always down for nudity.
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