How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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